Wait, what?
ReSplash is a resource pack all about Minecraft-ifying Minecraft's splash text. Making it more Minecraft-y than Minecraft. You follow? No? That's fine.
Rather than copying an existing splashes.txt file, I transcribed every single splash off the wiki, one by one, an effort taking a few hours. I even accidentally duplicated "Check it out!" like Mojang did and then caught it.
What's it change?
Below are all the splashes added and curated by ReSplash.
In total, ReSplash has 400 splashes, compared to base Minecraft's 446.
Here's how to read the sections:
Added splash!
Mojang splash! -> ReSplash splash!
§1 - Reintroduced Splashes
Former splashes restored by ReSplash
Indev era
Better than Prey!
Moderately attractive! -> Sexy!
Made by Notch!
It's finished! -> When it's finished! (as the game is continuously updated)
Alpha era
Not as cool as Spock! -> Now accompanied by the original Cooler than Spock!
Rude with two dudes with food!
Lewd with two dudes with food! (¿Por qué no los dos?)
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! -> Superfragilisticexpialidocious!
Woo, /v/!
Switches and ores!
Beta era
"Autological" is! -> "Noun" is an autonym!
Adventure era
110813!
Totally forgot about Dre!
Hobo humping slobo babe!
Popping tags!
§2 - Revitalized Splashes
Former splashes restored and rewritten by ReSplash
Indev era
Pre-beta! -> Out of beta!
Kind of dragon free! -> Absolutely dragon free? (question mark is intentional)
More than [n] sold! -> All four (4000, 5000, 25000, 500) + a new one: More than 300000000 sold!
Now on OpenGL 3.2 core profile! -> OpenGL 3.2!
Alpha era
1% sugar! -> now accompanied by 0% sugar? (see "dragon free" splash)
The Work of Notch! -> The Work of Notch (and friends)!
§3 - Remixed Splashes
Extant splashes replaced or rewritten by ReSplash
Beta era
Twittered about! -> now accompanied by Tweeted about! (F to pay respects)
Adventure era
Made by Jeb! -> Made by Jeb, too!
Colormatic -> Colormatic! (added standard-yellow §e exclamation point)
Java 16 + 1 = 17! -> Now Java 17!
HURNERJSGER? -> HURNERJSGER!
Now contains 32 random daily cats! -> Now with cats! (nuked social media in-joke)
Now with Multiplayer! -> now accompanied by Multiplayer! (matching Singleplayer! splash)
Microsoft era
More Digital! -> Digital!
Thank you for the fish! & Thanks for the fish! -> Thanks for all the fish!
All rumors are true! -> All the rumors are true!
It came from space. -> Made of star stuff!
377-390 (Pandemic splashes) replaced ->
- Scrub, scrub, scrub 'til the water's brown!
- Down with the Sickness!
Edit is a name! -> "Edit" is a name!
Fabulous graphics! -> Fabulous!
408-415 (Social justice splashes) replaced ->
- Strives for more liberty!
- Won't do what they told us!
- Rufus Truthfist!
- Do you not see the signs?!
- Don't be racist, I am a building!
- Did you know that you have rights?
- No more oppression!
- I've got an idea...World Peace!
*Lines 435-439 (Gender splashes) condensed down to I'm glad you're here! ->
- Contains infinite genders! -> Agender! (All mobs are genderless, according to the blog post "Gender in Minecraft")
Sniff sniff... -> Really smells like dog buns! (Adventure Time, to go with the Bravest Warriors splash)
§4 - Redacted Splashes
Extant splashes removed by ReSplash
Adventure era
Finally complete!
All Hello, [country]! splashes, except for 日本ハロー!
(referencing the JP credits song of the Minecraft documentary)
Don't feed avocados to parrots!
Plz reply to my tweet!
I have a suggestion.
Woah.
Ryan also has amazing hair!
pls rt
One day, somewhere in the future, my work will be quoted! (No it won't)
Now with additional stuff!
Extra things!
Yay, puppies for everyone!
Tougher than diamonds, rich like cream!
/give @a hugs 64
This is good for Realms.
Any computer is a laptop if you're brave enough!
Microsoft era
doot doot
There's no stopping the Trollmaso
Throw yourself at the ground and miss
Rule #1: it's never my fault
Replaced molten cheese with blood?
Absolutely fixed relatively broken coordinates
Javalicious edition
You're going too fast!
Don't feed chocolate to parrots!
The true meaning of covfefe
Something funny!
Rainbow turtle?
I need more context.
Water bottle!
What's the question?
What do you expect?
Look mum, I'm in a splash!
Awesome game design right there!
Ph1lza had a good run!
10 years of Mining and Crafting!
Ping the human!
In case it isn't obvious, foxes aren't players.
Buzzy Bees!
Minecraft Java Edition presents: Disgusting Bugs
This parrot is no more! It has ceased to be! (This splash is no more! It has ceased to be!)
Honey, I grew the bees!
Find your claw!
Everybody do the Leif!
<3 Max & 99 & Ducky!
#minecraftfarms
Envision! Create! Share!
Also try Minecraft Dungeons!
Vanilla!
Zoglin!?
[this splash text is now available]
Home-made!
There's <<a cat on ,my keyboard!~
The cutest predator you'll ever meet!
Get to the coppah!
Board game version also available!
Honey, I waxed the copper!
Plant-based light sources!
Made by "real" people!
Shriek like a Sculk Shrieker!
Who let the frogs out?
RIBBIT!
Croak team!
Flower forest TM perfume
Hat Fridays!
Made with lave!
This sand is sus
Remember to brush your... ...teeth
Has working bookshelves!
Place hanging sign here
Joule is neat too!
§5 - Bedrock Splashes
Splashes imported from Bedrock Edition
Glowing creepy eyes!
& Knuckles!
Mostly harmless!
Artisinal!
§6 - New Splashes?
I put these extra splashes into the pack, too!
Hello there!
Unparalleled!
Successor of the Chambered!
Order of the Stone!
Rana!
Miners welcome!
Ask your doctor!
Kind of Lootbox free!
VENGEAAAANCE!
Digging a hole!
Godspeed chicken!
Deserves ice cream!
Also try Infiniminer!
Also try Factorio!
Also try Rocket Arena 3!
Also try Cookie Clicker!
Justice for XaPhobia!
Justice for C418!
Fancy!